The second I read the topic I think, "Yup, again." (sigh.)
I say that word out loud every day. Generally as a sort of defeated question. Like the whole roll-the-boulder-up-the-hill-over-and-over-for-all-of-eternity feeling.
-Needing to poop ended a nap WAY too early. "Again?" (with tears)
-No one wants to eat what I fixed for them. Even though they asked for it. "Again?" (with serious irritation)
-Gales of hysterical laughter just turned into a massive street brawl. "Again?" (with my everyone's-about-to-get-it voice)
-It took the kitchen counter 48 seconds to become a disaster after I just spent what seems like hours cleaning it. "Again?" (with disbelief and maybe tears)
-I walked up stairs and forgot what I was doing so burned the butter in my frying pan so badly that the entire house stinks. "Again?!?! CRAP! AGAIN!!!" (with a little fear) Alright sometimes it's not butter. Sometimes it's chicken. Or cabbage. Never burned cabbage? Let me tell you, that kind of stench is just a whole different animal.
But my inner voice, Ivy, speaks up here and tells me to cowboy up. She tells me that those agains are there, but they're hardly the whole story.
-Because every time Liam wanders past me he stops to hug my legs fiercely. Again.
-Because three or four times a day Belle lays her head on my shoulder and says with the passion only she can muster, "Mom, you're the BEST!" Again.
-Because no matter how exciting whatever Dalton's doing is, he stops every couple minutes to dash in and tell me all about it. Because his enjoyment is heightened if he shares it with me. Again.
-Because later tonight I get to sit on the couch with my best friend and eat hot wings and cheesy corn while we watch tv and chat about whatever we want. Again.
-Because later today (or tomorrow if I can make the milk last that long), I will go to the grocery store. Again. And once again I will be blessed with a husband whose job provides so generously for us that I could buy all the groceries my family could possibly need. Again.
I don't want to forget these things. When I think of my life, which is admittedly fairly repetitive, I want to remember all the good agains that I have coming at me every single day.
I want to give things their proper weight. I don't want an irritation to weigh heavily on me while one of those everyday-glorious moment is easily brushed off.
I will fail at this probably three or four times before dinner tonight.
But that's ok.
Because the beauty is that if I can only remember, I can try again.
Linking up to The Gypsy Mama for her weekly Five Minute Friday prompt. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. Then go read other peoples.